Dating a Man 30 Years Older Than Me

For many, age is not a problem when it comes to finding the person you love. Often, women find that men in a later stage of their life are looking for the same kinds of relationships and have similar lifestyle goals than those in the same age range. However, just because many women are looking to date an older guy, that doesn’t mean it won’t come with its unique set of challenges. As with any relationship, there are things you need to overcome individually and as a couple. Fortunately, we can provide you with the right advice to make the best out of your relationship.

Relationship with Older Men

Why Do Women Want a Relationship with Older Men?

Any woman thinking about a relationship with an older man or those who’re unsure whether they’re attracted to an older man can find all the help they need here. We understand that if you have never pursued having an older boyfriend before, your feelings can be confusing. Many women can also be unsure if there is a considerable age gap, whether it is right to date the man they’re interested in. We highlight some of the perks of dating an older guy and why it is best to accept the attraction and love growing between you and your older man.


Many women are extremely attracted to dating someone older as the guys tend to be more mature than their younger counterparts. This maturity means that there a lot of areas where an older guy and woman are often compatible. They may be interested in similar dates (wine tasting as an example) and be at similar stages in their life.

A large part of this maturity means that the conversation is interesting and engaging. Women will often feel that they are understood by an older man and that their voice, opinions, and interests are heard, which is incredibly attractive.

It is key to remember that not all guys will fit into these categories and, just because a man is older, this doesn’t mean he is ready to have kids or settle down. It is still down to the kind of person they are and whether they’re ready to start the next stage of their life.


Alongside the maturity aspect, many women enjoy dating an older man as they know how to respect women. Naturally, younger men can learn this too, but older men are more likely to be in a place where they treat a woman properly.

A partnership only works well when the two parties have mutual respect for one another. This isn’t just about how someone will treat you but also whether they will be selfless for you. If someone respects you, then they will love you and want to give their all for you.


Many personality traits will attract women to older guys, but sometimes it comes down to them being attractive. Naturally, you will want to get to start knowing someone because you have that physical interest. However, women who want to date older guys may start to notice that they are much more attracted to those features attributed to older men.

Advice on Dating Older Guys

With some information to hand as to what attracts women to older guys, you’re now ready to start implementing tips on dating an older guy. Whether you’ve recently started going out with someone or are seeking to date someone older, our handy hints and advice can prepare you for this dating situation.

Sophisticated and Respectful

The likelihood is that he is not interested in someone looking to party or acting as though she will jump on any guy, even if she is in a relationship. This means that you need to handle yourself with maturity. You can’t expect it from an older man and not bring it into the relationship yourself.

An older man is likely to want you to be at the same maturity level as him, and he will be able to tell whether you are or not by your manner. This doesn’t mean you can’t be yourself or joke around with him, but it is important to find that line and engage with him like an adult.

Don’t Remind Him of His Age

Just because you’re dating an older man, that doesn’t mean it is the opportunity to use it for jokes/banter all the time. He will want to know that you’re looking to date him for the person he is, and it can become frustrating if you feel as though the age gap is bought up all the time.

Even nicknames that allude to the age gap can be frustrating for an older man. It is important to love him and want to date him for the person that he is and enjoy the connection you have on a deeper level.

Accept Baggage

We all have baggage; this is unavoidable. Someone older may have a lot more. They could have kids or an ex-wife, and you need to be able to decide if you can accept that. If you can’t, then it is better to look elsewhere for your dating opportunities.

It is key to remember that nobody is perfect when it comes to love, and someone’s past situation should not deter you from pursuing a relationship with them. Furthermore, it is key to remember it is not all about you. Yes, it may be inconvenient or awkward to see his ex-wife, but if you love someone and think they are worth pursuing a relationship with, you will endure those things that aren’t as comfortable for you.

Think About What You Want in Life

Although older men may be more ready than their younger counterparts to settle down, if you’re dating someone considerably older, that may not be the situation. Someone who has already had kids may not want to do that again, so this is something you need to be prepared for.

It is important early on (maybe within a couple of dates) to establish what they’re looking towards in the future. Asking questions about their goals and vision can help you establish whether you want to date an older man and whether you will be the right fit for one another.

Cultural Differences

Naturally, with there being an age gap, you may find that there are references he doesn’t get or things he is not interested in that you are and vice versa. You have grown up in a different time, and our interests are often products of our environment and culture at the time.

Therefore, he may not necessarily like a show you used to watch, and you may not understand his nostalgia over certain things. However, this is not the core of a relationship. The core is a shared heart, mind, and vision for the future. So, don’t take it too seriously if there are some cultural gaps.

Dating a Guy 20 Years Older Than Me

Although the age gap of 20 years isn’t as dramatic as 30, there are still obstacles that couples have to overcome in their dating lives. You will still have to make an effort to understand them, their life and what they want in the future. If you’re in your 20s, then the man you’re interested in is in their 40s, and that gap, although it isn’t a dealbreaker by any means, will mean there is a range of difference between the both of you. So, what do you do to combat these differences?

Take the Time to Understand

Listening to your significant other is integral to any relationship, but it is even more important with a relationship that has a considerable age gap. You’re likely to have different interests, see issues differently, and have a different perspective on the world. This can lead to many problems if you’re not mature enough to humble yourself and understand their perspective.

Take Advice Humbly

It may be frustrating to feel as though they’re coming up with solutions all the time, but it is key to remember that they have probably been where you are. They’re giving you good advice based on past experience and are, likely, to only want to help you and see you prosper. There are times when you may just want comfort, and that is ok to communicate, but it is key to be humble and respect your partner.

Keep Things Interesting

Every relationship needs an injection of creativity to keep it fresh, and it is no different with an older guy. The novelty of dating someone older will wear off with time, so it is important to build a strong relational foundation built upon the experiences and connections you build with one another as you progress with dating.

Always remember that you deserve to love anyone and be loved by anyone, so is it so important what other people say when you can be happy with this person? If you’re ready to overcome the possible obstacles we mentioned today, there are no reasons to resist feelings.

Author: Jennifer Lorusso
Jennifer Lorusso is a recognized dating and interpersonal relationship expert. As a woman with Psychological degree, she utilizes both her whole life training and her incredible life experiences to serve her readers. She is known for her approachable manner and empathetic abilities. She trully believes that everyone can find true love as long as they believe it is available to them.
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